Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said: ‘Where did you get such a great bike?’
The other one replied: ‘Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman came riding on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said: ‘Take what you want.’
Nodding approvingly, the first student responded with: ‘Good choice! The clothes probably wouldn’t have fitted you anyway.’
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed: ‘What’s the matter with those chaps? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!’
The doctor chimed in: ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept players!’
The priest remarked: ‘Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.’ And turning to him, he said: ‘Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’
‘Oh, yes,’ the green-keeper replied. ‘That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play free of charge at any time.’
The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said: ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’
The doctor said: ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.’
And the engineer added to that: ‘Why don’t they play at night?’
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Sad, but true!
A graduate with a science degree asks: ‘Why does it work?’
A person with an engineering degree asks: ‘How does it work?’
Yet another one who has an accounting degree asks: ‘How much does it cost?’
And a graduate with an arts degree may want to know: ‘Do you want fries with that?’
Three engineering students were discussing who might have designed the human body. The first one said: ‘It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.’
The second one replied: ‘No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.’
‘Ah,’ the third one suggested after a moment’s pause: ‘I think it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste pipeline through a recreational area?’
Ordinary folks think that if something isn’t broken one doesn’t fix it.
Engineers, however, believe that if something isn’t broken, it may not yet have enough features.
One day an engineer was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him: ‘If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.’
Bending over, the man picked up the frog and without saying a word put it in his pocket. The frog cried: ‘If you kiss me and turn me into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.’
The engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked the frog. I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?’
‘Look here,’ replied the man, ‘I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, that’s really cool. I’m going to keep you.’
lulz! Tro0 Story! 😉 An oldie but still fzckin’ funny nonetheless…