It’s a given that all paramedics are pretty Lyme Ignorant, or LIP’s as I coin them. I know more than just a bit about the paramedic racket having audited their courses circa 2000 for work, being an oilfield construction supervisor type. “ABC” was the No. 1 mnemonic… Airway, Breathing, Circulation in that order of stuff to address before you are out of that first two minutes, and more like the first 20 seconds. You should have assessed hazards before the first second to prevent killing yourself and/or the patient by second #2. A LIP’py shzthead can kill you quick and get away with it.
I ran into such a LIP’py pair of shzts last November while chasing deer, and was on my way back home. I had been consuming wild apple leaves as usual at the time, and had been expelling thick biofilm mucus. I stopped at a 711 for coffee that had so it turns out a contaminated dry cleaning fluid spill in the parking lot, probably clandestinely dumped there by some disposal contractor. Something in it touched off a breathing emergency. I was having trouble breathing from breathing what ever it was mixed in with that contaminated cleaning fluid I had unfortunately parked over.
I wanted to get at my Vitamin C to liquify the phlegm fast but didn’t make it. Never mind that the LIP’s FAILED! miserably at basic paramedic (they took 45 minutes to ABC me) they threw me on top of the chemical spill walking straight into a HAZMAT Disaster with the patient, and threw my clothes in it. That is how I found out when I washed them; The naptha smell was strong enough to stink a dog off a gut wagon. By the time they transported me to a hospital for a problem they would not let me solve in their mighty azzholiness, the “Golden Hour” was failed by another half hour, I determined that Darwin would eventually get these idiots at the next obvious HAZMAT related emergency they happened on, and likely a lesser patient too in the process like the Kimberly mining disaster.
Remember that your Chewable Vitamin C is important to have instant access to at all times like an Epi pen (to alleviate anaphalactic shock), sugar for diabetic, nitroglycerine pills, or a puffer. That Equate stuff from walmart, 500 mg., works great. You can’t tell when some extra thick mucus from a nasty biofilm breakup is about to happen or get touched off by some unknown environmental factors. It can take a few minutes and it will loosen it up. Got any better Idea for mucus glue coming out of the pores in your lungs trying to drown you? I guess it is kinda like being “snotterboarded.” lulz Eating a couple grams of Vitamin C, like 4 x 500mg., along with each wild apple leaf initially will loosen it all up and prevent this from happening.
Any S’Lyme Literate paramedic would have chewable vitamin C, but after all, this is the 21st century. We’re in about the 40th Century comparatively medically here. Don’t get me started how doctors haven’t made it out of the 20th where they are bogged down seemingly forEVAH! wasting antibiotics on mycoplasma biofilms. “Beam us ahead, Snotty… No intelligent life Down here.” we ping into our S’Lyme literate paramedic communicators. Such is the quandry of the Wild Apple Leaf S’Lyme Travellers… and don’t get me started on the R’Ecto Plasmids… Trust me… They’re about to take a trip down the drain, futily leaving a mere stain on the bowl.
Anyhow, wild apple leaf changes it all to Slime Disease, and it all has to come out as thick polysaccharide slime somehow. Now for the Sermon. It is Sunday, so there has to be Biblical context, whether you are religious or not. The Bible is a chronicle of the first 6,000 years of Human history. Some snake told Eve to eat an apple. Don’t get me started on how Eve and snakes could even talk to each other. God told them not to eat it. Why? Perhaps He knew there was a worm in it, a kindred snake so to speak. He probably knew that they were running a competing Farmer operation as well too. “The Lord is my shepherd” got weaseled in on by the farmer worm, and the Lyme spirochetes the worms farmed. Adam got it because it was an STD, and all Hell broke loose. The whole fam damnly got Farmer Worms, and ever since then Eden has been lost or so I heard.
Now before that, it came to pass that there were animals like deer for millions of years. God would have known that deer would eat apples and leaves. After all, he builteth them. Worms tried to figureth out how they could get their operation kicked off in and rip off a ride in other mammals, but they were being stopped by the leaves. Coincidence? I thinketh not. The allegedly “dumb” animals always listened to The Lord. In the Garden of Eatin’, everything was tickety boo, and it didn’t even matter if there were ticks because the apple leaves kept giving the Filarial Nematode Farmer worms the Holy Punt. The worms were in Hell as the good Lord designethed it. The worms being evil did not want to work for their daily bread, preferring to steal it. The good Lord had writteneth them a ticket for breaking His Holy law. And it was good.
It came to pass that the worms planned a jailbreak to Get Out Of Hell Free and Monopolize some poor schmuck they could control by worming in on its brain. They would lie in wait in tree fruits for almost Eternity until the good Lord released the upgrade software for the Chimpanzee. They would then hack into it if they could find a “bug.” At the risk of being damned and labelled as misogynistic, Woman 1.0 was to be that screwed up software release with more bugs than Windows ME. Some snake gave one an Apple with the worm ha><0red in it, and the rest is ancient history as they say. After all, God inventeth the First Bug too. There is no do-over. Even Intelligent Designers have a Bad Day, and especially after coming off a Hell of a week. He tried a do-over in 4,000 years, but the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree or so they sayeth. Jesus did save, but then Gretzky would scoreth on the rebound.
Now nearing the 170th Anniversary of meeting his maker, John Chapman Appleseed was a very religious man. He was also very observant of nature; Once in the winter when he went to camp in a hollow log, he noticed a bear family was in it hibernating. He slept outside in the snow so that he wouldn’t disturb them. (If he had, Johnny knew they likely would have eaten him.) Once noticing a mosquito fly through his fire and burn to death, he doused the flames so he wouldn’t hurt any more of the bugs. He was very altruistic in his ways and lived humbly, yet donated cider apple trees widely. Johnny Appleseed died a bachelor, and perhaps that all has some bearing on it. Tending orchard nurseries, drinking cider, and givin’ shzt away when you haven’t got much yourself has never really cut a swath with the ladies either. It turns out he was richer than anybody ever imagined, holding tracts of land he had forgotten about. Shzt Happeneth!
Long story short… Eve… Snake… Apple… Lyme Disease… Eden Lost… “I Toldeth You So!!!” After starting to use Wild Apple Leaves to restore Eden as a Lyme sufferer, you will probably have to keep doing it like deer still do to give the farmers a ticket back to the hoosecow in Hell. That likely means the Vitamin C S’Lyme emergencies aren’t over either. Who knows? Casteth the first Apple if you have a better Idea.