One day, we were all sitting at a bar-b-que trying to determine the worst place to work in the oil patch. By unanimous decision it was determined to be Sakhalin Island. Cue Robin Leech, lifestyles of the Miserable and Infamous; “This lovely shzthole has the worst camp. worst weather, worst water, worst nightlife, worst locals, worst bugs, bad diggin’, worst everything! What the hell were they thinking when they put oil under this godforsaken pathetic slab of joy?” I thought Mexico. Worst terrain, worst jungles, worst animals (everything you can see moving there will kill you, and the cows are the saddest sacks of bones you’ve ever seen… Bugs got ’em,) most snakes (you couldn’t communicate over the noise of the rattlesnakes in the cracks of the loose surface boulders the glaciers never saw,) Worst Drilling EVER, but they are a friendly people, especially to gringo$ Canada, and the weather is lovely until those huge thunder boomers come off the gulf, push against the Sierra Oriental (Eastern Mountains,) and hit like the biblical 200 lb. hailstones. Not even close, as everybody described an increasingly horrific little slice of a pizzed off Mother Nature doing everything it could to shake the human oil parasite thing from Myanmar to Fort McMurray, and Alaska to Africa to the Arctic to Australia.
Then there is this place which is an anomaly. There are no mosquitoes, or there were none until people missed them so much, they created festering puddles for mosquitoes to breed in! What brilliance. Gee, woulda never thought of that! Now they can all get our sizeable resumes combined of mosquito borne and transferred illnesses, with worms packin’ suitcases completely covered with those travel stickers. Now they’ll even get Sakhalin Island.
Can a mosquito pack a worm? Well, not a very big one, but the eggs are probably miniscule compared to the adult. And what an adult if you can even determine which one it is by symptomatology! That could all be from one mosquito bite. Mosquitoes may have STD’s too. I dunno. Ask a larvae.
Moving out into the general population, imagine an airplane or a bus, They spray them down with Black Flag, but that won’t help. I magine the passengers swattin’ mosquitoes waiting to get on the things, let alone what happens when they all pack into it. The problem is in the safest place, and that is on tap in a human. I have actually witnessed first hand tropical disease transmission without even going there. I confirmed the source by observing the symptomatology of the individual(s) involved. Doctors have no idea what is going on, and they are way off base in their suggested treatments. They are treating one symptom of a multi symptom illness like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole. You have an itch; They prescribe an ointment while the millions of worms are crapping in your circulatory and Central Nervous Systems. Complain and they chuck you in psych to get more infections they know nothing about from their catch all failure bucket. But back to the Bar-B-Q… Would you like your Rotten Dead Whipped Horse Medium or Well? Nothing smells as delicious as a good Blow Torch Char Broiling in lieu of a Roast.
Mosquitoes hate smoke. That is sad because the spiders won’t ever get to taste smoked meat. They make their webs around here and catch all manner of flying insects. Using our logic, that makes them Worm Central. Some of my most memorable fleeing worms come out of what we suspected were spider bites. They’re sneaky too. Like Ticks, they anesthetize the feeding site first. The problem is how do you defend yourself from getting bit? You can’t. DEET makes you sick. You can’t swat them fast enough. I propose just admit defeat and take Wild Apple Leaf. I suppose the sooner the better. Make your whole body a natural pesticide.
Now it may make you queasy, which reminds me of Medical School 101. Professor is standing there with all the little budding dope pushers all ears, Day 1. “The first thing you have to learn in medical school is not to get queasy. The second thing is Be Observant!” Then he takes a urine sample, dips his finger in, and licks it. Eeeeeewww! “Now your turn.” Each stoont dips finger, then licks it. Gags abound. Then prof says, “Remember about being Observant? I dipped my Middle Finger and licked my Index Finger!!!” Technicolour Yawns all around. It bears repeating this crusty old chestnut of medical wisdom where half the doctors still graduate in the bottom half of the class, and luckily your faithful scribe is, if not anything, at least Crusty as well as being Old.
I have been observing my apple trees. The snow is all gone, but they haven’t started growing leaves yet. However there is still last year’s leaf “crop” lying there underneath them. I know the fall leaves work. How about the spring ones? We aren’t sure! that is where I am morphing to in our testing plan. Let’s try some of those old Fall leaves from under the snow. I suppose I will die if I fail, but I haven’t got a death wish. I have a plan to proxy test them with bugs. The squirrels eat the bark to tide them through… They didn’t store up leaves for the winter like us. We don’t want to damage the trees though. They just nibbled some off of one branch.
I sympathize with them; About the only safe Non Monsanto GMO food in North America now is nuts… and that is only a maybe. You may think, “You are what you eat!!!” but how will we push science ahead here? Plus you may think I am an endless well of bullshzt, and as I know first hand, but I need something more to write about without becoming boring. lulz I can sterilize them in the oven and see if they still give us a herx or a buzz. Otherwise, how will we fill the demand for this? Doing the math, and assuming everybody gets the memo, Today it is 7.304 billion times 500mg. each per day, minus Canada at 30 or so million or about the number of births so far this year. So 3.65 billion grams, or 3,650 tonnes per day. Yep… a tonne is a million grams. You don’t want the ones the birds poop on, or the ones the leaf roller moths set up house in, so you can’t just rake ’em up with the animal droppings. I wonder how their crop looks in South America or Sub Saharan Africa these days? Then there is Down Under, aside from putting another shrimp on the barbie for one last good fall pizzah… Hmmm….? I hear the snow is still on the ground in Finland, and they have Lyme Disease there unlike the Miraculously Sterile Canada, the Last Lyme Free area on the Planet! <cough, cough> Nevertheless, I better get cracking here while I still have a herx reaction of any kind to test leaves with, and I’m already over a couple grams a day.
The capsule operation itself may be daunting. In bulk, vegetarian capsules are $1,000 US per hundred thousand. or $10,000 a million. Multiply that by 7,304 million doses per day = $73 Million a day in capsules alone, Thank God we don’t have to do Canada, eh? We can pocket the $300K per diem to help with overhead and trucking, shipping, political donations, grease, assorted bribes for three letter agencies, etc. That’s Bidne$$ they say… all this and Nessie is drunk again… She hides here like a Giant Okanagan Ogopogo worm… It’s never a dull moment being a quack veterinarian.