I think it is only about Day 664, but I got two days ahead. I messed the Apple Leaf Testing count up somewhere. Day 771 should be July 30 if July 31 2014 was Day 1 of apple tree bark or leaves. Looking back, that 10+ year old stroke might have been from a meningioma. It explains the strange behaviour and the blog in light of my fall from grace and life alone. Instead of giving up I leaned into keeping track of the effects. All the extra CAT scans a year and a half ago. Peripheral neuropathies, some numbness, brain damage. Lyme borreliosis is a great imitator. MS like symptoms. Stroke like symptoms. Add the effect of eating the apple tree leaves and bark.
It isn’t the quality of care here. It is the quality of the disease, defying any known care. It explains my odd out of character behaviour, and subsequent fall from grace, starting ten years ago with the strokes later diagnosed and showing on scans 9 years ago, or a year later. The apple tree bark/leaves helped though, even more than 7 years after the fact. Nothing explains that. The nematodes that came out revealed something about what ever it was and still is. It couldn’t just be a stroke if a treatment so long afterwards was working on alleviating it.
I can’t fake it because I should be long gone, and I am over 9 years and almost a week after the initial stroke diagnosis where they found an older larger stroke during scans on the May 18, 2007 fall. The apple tree linked it all to bug bites and stings for me anyway. Getting rid of them definitely has helped me. Yesterday, after seeing a Tragically Hip’s Gord Downie going through a similar thing, helps me see it all in a reflective light. Glioblastoma and other brain tumours ring a lot of bells after the fact. I have been suspecting a brain tumour like thing for a decade now. It is nobody’s fault but my own, even though some may beg to differ, but increased exposure to insects played a larger role than ever suspected along with the compromised brain tissue.
By chance I stumbled on a treatment in apple tree bark and leaves. If so, it is the only thing short of chemotherapy that has a good outcome. I had nothing left to lose, so I am a free guinea pig. I used the opportunity. The astrocytes are not always malignant, and can also be benign in meningioma. Both kinds are linked to borreliosis, and I am tertiary chronic Lyme since at least 1992 when ACA Herxheimer first showed up. It has been a long, horrific, and at times unimaginably sad story with a glimmer of hope in the outcome. It brings a whole new meaning to Tragically Hip for me because it all really is.
Some things are just too tough to beat though, like shooting one’s self in the foot between the ears. I did that nearly 10 years ago, or 9.5 years. A co worker at the time fell victim to other separate effects of suspected similar increased vector exposure recently. The fact that I am alive after all this shows that apple leaves can help. I leaned into my work to try to deal with it but to no avail. The cumulative vector neural effects made me more distant and led to me destroying all I had worked for all of my life. I became incapable to continue in an unfamiliar role, promoted to my own level of incompetence like the Peter Principle.
There was more to it than that, suffering an added unknown medical problem that caused my final failure. I could not refuse a mandatory flu shot that may have contributed, but that isn’t an allowed excuse. It was not that I could not perform the duty but a skewed unrelated consequence of the duty in an accidental situation I was gravitated to and fell prey to like many other mortals would. I stumbled and fell on the self detonate button of a larger event chain than ever suspected. It was the problem of too many yes-no answers concealing a paradox. Nobody wants to get the death penalty for swatting an interruption like a fly. We are only human where that is not allowed.
Now I also found out about what I called the Smoking Paradox. People would quit smoking, and then they would die about a month later. They would suddenly get worse, not better. Reverse POTS offers an explanation where heart rate starts to increase while resting. Now I heard a story about another patient advised to smoke again when quitting caused their situation to deteriorate. The circumstances were not clear, but the story turned out the same when smoking helped them. It will be another extremely tough problem to get around, and where no one has succeeded yet that I know of. Like the Peter Principle, the miracles eventually run out at the expense of the patient. A designer can only build so many bridges until there is a failure of one crucial small nut or bolt.
There is a larger universal phenomenon at play, but this blog is but one facet of what isn’t understood with everything we are able to understand. People try to succeed taking on more stuff. The more stuff, the potential there is for more stuff to happen. When stuff happens, there is a scapegoat then too. I knew I became a scapegoat for hire, but tried to compensate for it by doing more stuff. Now I know that just makes more stuff happen, and it is not necessarily good. The volatility of balanced opposing forces is rife for catastrophe in case of a misfire. The McMurray Fires are an example consequence of too much protected fuel in too small of an area that way, but that could be argued for eons. Given my circumstance there, I can’t help but think it is related. There is a bad voodoo at work where multiple vectors are at play. It defaults to higher risk of unintended consequences.
That beast is a true destroying angel of many worlds as it manifests in an actual paradox. It can be a reverse lottery where no ticket is required like well after the atom bomb and CFC’s. Entropy defaults to more of the same. There is only one path to salvation that you have to Believe. It explains why you must pray for your enemies too when you think about the whole context in our world obviously, and not so obviously, fraught with random peril. I pray for the worker who changed my baptised name by mistake. That is yet another example of an actual paradox I had nothing to do with. My mother continued to use my baptised name, and Mother always knows best. I pray she was not mistaken just in case. 😉 There can be a triadox.
It is all a mess. We are taught to refrain from suicidal ideations. What happens when the teachers change their tune? See what I mean about a paradox? They have a couple weeks to resolve C-14, the Euthanasia Bill. What about a triadox extending it until it is resolved? Then we know the real guilty parties, all of ourselves. They legally know the pitfalls of that, so it will die. It does not change the obvious, but skirts it with a technicality, and an imposed expiration date.
In physics, Dark Matter and Energy are a complex mathematical paradox in their own right, and they not only exist, but they are the bulk of the universe. There is no other acceptable answer. No less than Facebook is looking at theit own liberal bias, and it is an identified problem that Facebook’ers are skewed to losing opinion. There is another 0ne… a self defeating paradox. I was way ahead of my time and suffered from it before they knew it was their own demise. China stood too close when they detonated their own economic bomb. What now? Do we all lose? Trump wants the job but has no idea. So does Hillary to make it look legit, but she would not touch it with a ten foot pole. They could call it the Law of Limited Options where all of them lose when they keep at it long enough.