Sorry I’m a little late. I have been watching Penn and Teller’s “Fool Us” on Netflix, and it struck me I have a magic act here that can fool them. The trouble is time. I can show them their first infected bug bite, as I can with every man woman and child in the world. Penn Gillette says it best. Magic is all bullshzt. I think I can make that delay work for me when a few days later, anyone I “trick” will pick up the phone and call me. “Man, you weren’t kidding!!” The time delay will depend on how much biofilm they have built up from starch in their diet. Medical Magic.
Most magicians have a bullshzt story. Mine will be that I used my metaphysical powers to change every apple tree in the world when nobody was looking. For safety, I only changed the ones that had no pesticide, fungicide, or herbicide on them, so don’t bother trying those ones that may be sprayed. I’ll say I PWN’d all the organic orchards. I’ll warn people that they may have been sprayed after I converted them. I’ll tell them I have spent 45 years all over the world doing this on the sly. I can say I hypnotized insects to spread my magic engineered potion all over the world. It will sound like total bullshzt like every other magic story. Then doctors will have to figure it out. They will not be able to resist the challenge or remain to be worm brainwashed incurious imbeciles like they ate now. They won’t be able to keep the secret to prove how smart they are after this affront to their intelligence. QED.
A little truth helps propagate the magic BS. I’ll tell them about my worm blackmail story, withholding how I did it. That alone makes it real magic. I can keep it secret. We’ll see if it fools Penn and Teller.
Moving along, there is sneak preview of a new vector zoonotic tracking technique using mice as a proxy animal. Naturally, I suggested feeding the mice my apple leaf “Magic” powder. Look for this one to come out soon on PubMed. Thomas Grier gave me the heads up:
Vector Borne Zoonotic Dis. 2016 Nov 17. [Epub ahead of print]
Metagenomic Evaluation of Bacteria from Voles.
Koskela KA1, Kalin-Mänttäri L1, Hemmilä H1, Smura T2, Kinnunen PM1,3, Niemimaa J4, Henttonen H4, Nikkari S1.
11 Centre for Military Medicine , Helsinki, Finland .
22 Department of Virology, University of Helsinki , Helsinki, Finland .
33 Defence Command Finland, Plans and Policy Division , Helsinki, Finland .
44 Natural Resources Institute Finland , Vantaa, Finland.
We’re no stranger to military medicine here. Of course, that could all be magic bullshzt. 😉