What do ya do for an encore, or what have you done for me lately? That is the gist of the 15 minute of fame news cycle. I cancelled my network TV. Too expensive and too useless, plus they make you watch commercials. Mother Nature here likes Grandpa Nature’s Lambo, but that’s one of his old ones. He has new light blue metallic ones now AFAIK. I think he’s the Lambo dealer. Maybe I should sell Lambos. They’re kinda impractical, but go driving around in one with Mother, and they sure turn the heads. The media just says they are “little Dick cars” but do these hands look small to you? Grandpa’s hands are so big they hardly fit in the little thing. All the better to fzck the media I presume.
I may have cured cancer, but I’m still an idiot I guess. I should say I can only cure Breast Cancer. That always seems to get attention but as we say in the Graze Anatomy racket, tits are for kids. I did read a paper at Sigma Aldrich about Phloretin wiping out breast cancer tumour cells. I go better than that because Wild Apple Leaves contain mostly Phloridzin Dihydrate, and they sell that for $100,000 a Kg. It metabolises to phloretin in the small intestine anyway. I’ll have to reconsider my pricing at a bargain at a buck a gram. I’m looking at a new Lambo and some gas money right here, in purified Pharmaceutical terms, but those 12 cylinders guzzle like a bastard. So does Mother when you get her going. Lucky for me she likes Lemon Gin and not Gold Tequila. I have a half million bucks worth of bark coming in the mail for a little mad money on the side luckily. They say the carbon tax is going up. Who cares though when you hit the pedal to pass a line of a dozen douchebags from Alberta going under the speed limit? Besides, my brothers belch out more CO2 on their golf vacations here than a Lambo firing on all cylinders, let alone the GTB. The whole thing is nuckin’ futz if you ask me. The lady on Facebook asked how many keys on the key ring, but that depends which ring I’m packin’. Note you park diagonally with these units because doush door dings are worth more than wild apple leaves when taken exactly as prescribed for cancer, dissolving that huge tumour in your wallet along with all the other ones.
The inanity of this whole situation is because they need Sigma Aldrich chemically purified Wild Apple Leaf components to write NIH and BMJ scientific papers. Bayer and Dow poison all the trees so I just stick to wild ones. I just walk over to the tree and eat some. My brothers are so smart that they say it is too dangerous to eat all those millions of dollars of leaves. My sister, a real rocket surgeon with 99% in F. Arts, says my work is not peer reviewed. My brothers say it is not beer reviewed <belch!> They’re sooo smart. They raise money for cancer they say, yet I haven’t seen a cent, and they broke or stole half my tools. They say my adopted daughter hugging one of the fleet of Lambos is a whore. That is because they all suffer from late stage Lyme disease and brain tumours the size of a fist. Reel geniuses. No sibling rivalry there <cough!>
OK, I concede mother nature is a whore in a nice way, but she’s *my* whore. lol A vet can spot Lyme Disease a mile away but they tell me how their genius doctors, including the one who told me Wild Apple Leaves are not any good even though they’re worth a million dollars a Kg. when prescribed on the QT, know exactly what they are doing. Can you quote that to the Judge in the pending RICO Indictment? I would rather listen to Dr. Breese. That flanges up with what I have noticed from a decade ago or more. As soon as I stopped listening to these self appointed brainiacs and gossip queens, things took off like an Apollo rocket. Yet we remain here, ignored by the very people claiming to be searching for me and the Holy Grail Of All Medicine. I’m Mad, Bro. Not Jelly, but just mad.
My next move is to do a clinical trial with a tobacco company, offering 4 AppLyme per pack of cigarettes. The reason to offer it with the cigarettes is to ensure that the patients in the study report back with information if they want the subsidized cigarettes to keep coming. They say cigarette smokers are the top risk group of cancer bar none. I also discovered that it works better for cigarette smokers, and I know why, but they’re all sooo smart. There is no enticement for study participants to update the clinical trial study as well if you can’t co pack it with an addictive drug that makes it work better. As for all those non smokers, they can fzck off and die anyway because they are sooo smart. If they want peer reviewed and an acid test to demonstrate how powerful my invention is, I’ll give them a spot. They’re going to need it and moreover, I know exactly why. I’m going for claw back. After all, I’m looking for a challenge now to make it worth my while. It’s time to shzt or get off the pot as they say. They won’t let me cure our big brother’s autism. I’ve told them for two years I know exactly what is causing his trouble. He actually picked the first batch of 2014 leaves but didn’t get enough by osmosis to have any effect. It only took him about 20 minutes to get enough for me, mother, grandma, great grandma, the karaoke lady (her carpal tunnel was acting up, and I still have a little bit of the stuff pictured above. I have been testing other leaf sources so I haven’t used much after walloping those hundreds of worms.
I’m turning into a real doush, aren’t I? It may be a serious side effect of Wild Apple Leaves and pectic enzyme. Some people say, “Turning *into*?” Well, they can fzck off and die too. lol All engineering students know Mother Nature is a Whore, but when you graduate, she is all yours. She’s my bestie on FB. She dropped my smartphone in the toilet, but c’est la vie. That’s Nature. You can’t get along with her, and you can’t live without her. She knows it too. Worms know that so they stay as hidden as possible. I told you they were smarter than most humans. She knew I could cure cancer for over a year when I cured Great Grandma Nature at 96 and Grandma Nature at 53 too as a kicker. U Mad, Bro? U Jelly? Of course u r. Who’s yer Daddy there, Nature? lol
A couple years ago I couldn’t even spell Oncologist. Now I am the only one, unless you want one with a 2.5% cure rate. I could have saved Walter White a lot of trouble, for sure. “Breaking Bad” may have been a Hollywood creation of Vince Gilligan, but the issues it raises about the cost of cancer are all too real. Who cares though? If it costs them all their money and they can get a movie of MRI’s and CT Scans along the way, it has to *work* then, right? Not necessarily.